Samantha Spittle 0:00
We don't have to be in the zone or anything. Yay. Okay, um

Unknown Speaker 0:07
you know what I love about just being connected with so many amazing women like

Samantha Spittle 0:18
they just remind me to do that kind of stuff. And I love that so much. So,

Unknown Speaker 0:22
yes. So today, okay, so

Samantha Spittle 0:25
we are getting ready to kick off the podcast with body image and accepted body appearance, appearance and body image. And I remember we talked before about kind of being in our body. And so some of the conversations that I've had or I'm going to have is, let's see, we talked about kind of, you know, our thoughts on body image, and kind of like living life in different size bodies. We talked about some style stuff, and how we have shame, connected a lot of our shame stories to a lot of like that external things, you know, like our style and things like that. We talked about how to move, you know, kind of what we can do. So it's like you're living in a larger body that society says is no good. What are some ways you can move towards, you know, a different place. Later, I'm talking to a body relationship coach, and on our pre call, she was talking about like, sin privilege, and things like that. And so I think we'll, we'll kind of dive into that kind of aspect of it. I'm sharing all this with you from like, a strict Dziedzic point of view. Because I feel like with what you do, and you're with just so many things, like you could talk about, we have flexibility, I guess, is the point is what I'm saying. Like, those are kind of things. So I remember when you and I talked, you know, it was kind of that appreciate appreciating our body and being present in our body and things like that. So I'm excited. I feel like we're touching on lots of good things to kind of create a nice hole. You know, definitely not hold, but start to have a whole conversation around.

Elena Sonnino 2:04
So yeah, I love it. Yes. So,

Samantha Spittle 2:06
yeah. So tell me so I kind of know what you're thinking. So what? Because so I guess that's the thing, too, is I'm like, Oh, yours isn't as defined as someone else. So tell me remind me kind of where your head's at, or where you want to go with it. And then we'll start down the

Elena Sonnino 2:22
road. And that's fine. And I'm also happy to go wherever, right so for me, I see the body as what's our home. And it's our home to get rooted and grounded, and also really nourished. And, and yet, we spend so much time disconnected from it as our home we're fighting against it. We're trying to fix it, we're trying to change it, we're judging it, we're all those things instead of honoring it, and tending to it as our place of home, right, like home base. And, and for me, you know, I think the exploration has been, you know, yeah, you know, my mom telling me, I was solid when I was young. And when I went away and came back from the summer and had beer for the assignment had gained weight. And she was like, You're so there was always this, like, trying to have to be something else. And then when I got sick, and my body suddenly wasn't the thing that I could trust, or it felt like I couldn't, and yet, my body actually gave me my healing, right? It gave me my stem cells back, literally, it gave me the data that I wasn't supposed to be able to have it. Like, over and over again, if if I would just get out of my way. It had what I needed. And it was also like my source of clarity of wisdom of, you know, knowing of Spark, all of those things exist inside me instead of always having to seek so i To me, it's that place of home base. And it's also, you know, with my GYN practices, and it's the place where I've learned acceptance when I was running marathons, because the doctor said I couldn't. I then found yoga eventually. And I was like, oh, like I realized I couldn't run there were years that I couldn't run because I decided that until I could run with kindness for myself, and just be the like be in the body that I was going to be in instead of always wishing I was faster than or whatever. But the yoga like on any given day, it's a little different onion in particular, is about staying in a shape allowing sensation to find you and staying there anyway. Right so it brings up en and yen is really less about muscle engagement. It's not all that much luggage. It's About the fact that connective tissue, which is where the emotions live, and like, the good stuff. So it can be very, it's not physically challenging, but it can be emotionally challenging because stuff comes up. I just had a client who was on virtual retreat with me this weekend. And she actually and I, I thanked her for doing what she needed. But stuff was coming up. And she was like, oh, no, like, I so she paused, she, she stayed there her moment and then decided she wanted she went and made herself a cup of tea. Right? There's a place for in a really safe environment to stay. And that's usually but I was really grateful. She gave herself permission, and now she's gonna go back, right and know that it's okay.

Samantha Spittle 5:49
Great. Oh, I'm excited to help jump, yes. Oh my gosh, okay. I love this idea of, you know, we spend in our society, and especially when it comes to body image and acceptance, spending so much time fighting it and hating our bodies. And I love you know, wood that we have tips and tools to move towards other things. But I love your story of having finding the acceptance and all those things within your healing and acceptance within your body. So I would love for you

Unknown Speaker 6:21
to introduce yourself.

Elena Sonnino 6:23
So I'm Elena sannino. And I am a life coach, a yin yoga teacher and a speaker, but really what I do, a friend said this to me recently, and I kind of love it, and I'm just gonna go with it. I am a guide, who nudges you to find your own liftoff. Right? I love being that person who asks the right questions, who offers you the nudge, but then you create the meaning and realize what matters to you. Connecting I talk a lot about, you know, helping my women Thrive connected to their most rooted and nourished self. But when I think about what that means, it's you finding that joy, that value that truth that lives inside you. And so I just help people find that.

Samantha Spittle 7:16
I love that. And this is a great way to as we are, you know, kicking off the third season, tackling the shame triggers of body image and appearance. Because I know that I have learned from experience, it does not matter how much we change the physical, outside body image, we think it's connected. I mean, and everything is connected. But we think it's a quick like, you fix this, you fix that you change this, this changes. And I think we all know at this point that it doesn't work like that.

Elena Sonnino 7:46
No, there's I mean, I, I've always joked I'm like, I need a light switch here. And really what I need is the light switch that says, This isn't the thing. And it's not just flipping the switch, right? There is does? Does how we look connects to how we feel? Yes, but I think we have it the other way around. Right? I think it's about how do we feel on the inside, and then allowing our outside to match that rather than having to shape it into something that it's not, and judging ourselves when it's not.

Samantha Spittle 8:19
Exactly. And I know you have been through a journey to get you to where you are today. So I would love to, to explore some of that and kind of how you got to this place. Because you know, we've talked offline about kind of going through that place where you're judging your body and you're you're trying to make it fit into those boxes. But then you found this new freedom. So take us on the ride. Let's go see how you got there.

Elena Sonnino 8:45
Yeah, what's funny, as you said that I'm like, Oh my gosh, right. I mean, it's it starts on we're sorry. Angley. I remember, I mean, the very first memory that I have of thinking that my body wasn't okay, so I was I'm Italian. I was born in Italy, we moved to the States and I was two and a half, but we always spent the summers in Italy. Well, in Italy as a young child, regardless of your gender. You only wear a bathing suit bottom, you cannot wear a bathing suit top. Right. So then we move to the states and I remember being in Cincinnati, Ohio at the pool in the summer. And I go out in the pool with only a bathing suit bottom and then hear the laughter and the things. I was like Oh, right. And I just remember being so mad at my mom. Because like I did kind of what I was told. And fast forward right in high school I had Moto and gained weight and then after high school, went to Europe and started drinking beer and gained weight. My mom would call me solid and I love my mom. Still her mom smile, but there was this like you need to go to the gym. Yeah. What I'm just saying

Samantha Spittle 9:59
what she her to like, rough, we're solid. Yeah. But like, you know, it's tough.

Elena Sonnino 10:04
And even I mean, her sister that same summer, before I come back, my mom was like, you have to go to the gym. I had come off the train. And she looked at me and I had acne at the time. And she's like, Oh, we should get you to the esthetician, right? Like, this is just the thing. In my 20s, I had, my body turned into something that I didn't trust because I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease. And suddenly, the body that had always been very capable, suddenly wasn't. Yeah. And I think it took me honestly, being my own worst enemy of my body to then become

Unknown Speaker 10:44
best friends with my body.

Samantha Spittle 10:46
Okay, so it took you being the worst enemy? And do you mean like Hating Your Body like being angry, and I was an

Elena Sonnino 10:55
angry, resentful, distrusting, trying to change it all the time thinking it like saying not nice things, right? I mean, when I saw I ran five marathons, the first was to prove that the oncologist who said I'd never be able to run was not right, because I like proving others wrong. The second was to prove that the first wasn't a fluke, fluke, right? The third and the fourth were, ooh, all these years have passed. I've lost weight, I should be able to be faster. Except I wasn't I mean, I was, but I wasn't fast enough,

Samantha Spittle 11:33
enough, because it's never enough. It's

Elena Sonnino 11:35
never enough. And so then when I got to the fifth, I was like, could I do this for fun? And I, I didn't really achieve that. But I allowed myself to be in process. And I show that because that was about the pivot, where I started to find my yoga practice. And to me, that was the mark the kind of line in the sand. I have not been treating my body well. I have been in, in a really, in a toxic relationship with my body, in a way is a tiny. Yeah, right. And so being on my mat taught me that there was another way that the body is different every single day, right? If you're trying to balance morning to evening, it's going to be different. Right to left side of the body will be different. Brady and myself wasn't going to help. So that became, I think, the beginning of this realization that if I looked back, my biggest moments in life, my body actually either healed me in or gave me what I needed. And that there was this opportunity to attend to that version of my body and be get into relationship with that version.

Samantha Spittle 12:55
That makes so much sense. Because my therapist, I was walking through my stuff. And, you know, I had, you know, sharing with her that, you know, I've gained weight. And she so eloquently described how, you know, your body holds on to the stress. And she explained kind of the technical side of cortisol. And but then we shifted the conversation to, like, my body has carried me through this hard season. And that it yes, it's held on to weight, but it wasn't doing it to hurt me, it was doing it to help me because it allowed me to process the things I needed to process. And then just kind of like, almost keep me safe, where that now I can kind of tackle the next thing. And that was a new level of like I had, I kept looking at it, like I'm so angry at my body for holding on to all this weight. But it's like, if I'm eating more than I should, because for insured, that's a whole other thing right there. But like, if I needed those coping mechanisms, like my body, found a way to cope so that I could function and not even function like thrive and heal and grow and like, do a lot of the hard emotional work and if it if my body found a way to cope, like thank you body. Thank you. Instead of saying I hate you body, which is what I want to say because I'm angry.

Elena Sonnino 14:17
Yeah, yeah. And for me, it's this idea of, you know, the body is it's like the vehicle with which we show up in the world. And, and really, I, you know, you and I, I've said this to you before, but to me, it's our home base like it is that place where we begin where we have an opportunity to get rooted. And, and really, I mean, the body knows so so much long before the brain does. You know, we think the brain is really powerful and it is but the body I mean even the fact that what you're just describing the body holding on to things to protect you so that you could go do these other things, right? The body knows stuff. For that book it It does, right and, and there are these energy systems inside. And so if we, for me, the journey has really been to understand kind of where I naturally find home in my body. And the places where maybe I haven't been particularly kind to myself, and really getting to know sensations, emotions that live inside and beginning to ask, you know, if I'm seeking answers going inward and allowing the answers to find.

Samantha Spittle 15:36
So how can we do that? I would love to kind of help, you know, listeners, and of course myself. How do you start this process? Because I know you talked about the yin yoga. And so I think you mentioned the emotions are in the fascia. Did I say that? Right? Yeah. Yeah. Dig? Oh, my gosh, like, you need to tell me more. Okay, so how do we start walking through this because like I said, I think that when people hear body image and appearance, and the shame we have associated it, we think the fix is to change it. I feel shame about my body because of XYZ, you know, and it's all different reasons. We all a lot of times we think it's if you fit into one box, you have body shame, but everyone in every box, no box or no, you know, we feel that. And so, once again, it's that shifting that No, there's not, you know, there's not this magic fix. And so, no, walking down that road.

Elena Sonnino 16:33
Yeah, so to me, it's the first step to walking down that road is to decide that you want to be in relationship with your body in a new way. Right. And it's, it's it is, it's, it's kind of a simple, I mean, there are very few things that I think of as a light switch, but this one, and it's a light switch that you have to keep turning on, because it's a daily choice, but the decision that we are going to be in relationship and in connection with our body, and its wisdom, and its power, and its magic, and all the all the things you want to say about it, right. So that's the first kind of step is this shift of instead of being something I have to fix, or manage or control, I want to be in relationship with. Right. And then I like to think of things in terms of because it's been my journey of getting rooted, being curious and being alive. So to me, being rooted in your body is an opportunity to be present in a moment. Right, so I Love A Child's Pose, right, which in yoga is when you are kind of sitting back on your hips, your your hips are on towards your heels, and you can be on a pillow, you can be on a blanket, you can have multiple pillows and blankets. And then your torso is kind of reaching forward and your forehead might touch the ground and might touch a pillow right? Again, it's with any body this is accessing can even use a chair. But then it's breathing. And just allowing yourself to be present with sensations. And noticing the ebb and flow of your breath. And that to me is a delicious shape to just notice, what do I know for sure in this moment? Right, so we're where our body becomes the access the vehicle to that access? That makes sense.

Samantha Spittle 18:29
Yeah. And it's funny because I was, you know, sitting taking a breath. And I was thinking, as you were describing, I love that you went through the different ways because I think that sometimes yoga, there's an image that gets tied to it and and it's less so as it continues to be shared. It's like you think you have to look a certain way and do all these poses. And so one of the tips and we actually talked about this on another podcast episode about you have the power to curate your social media feed more than you think. And I remember I started following a yoga I have to look up her title hurt her handle, but it's like basically a, you know, woman in a larger body doing yoga. And that's so helpful for me to see that even though I haven't done too much yet. But like, as even just as you were talking, I think that had I not followed this woman, I can immediately see the poses displayed by a woman in a larger body. Right? And so it felt empowering versus like, oh, well, that's gonna take so much work to get to that point, you know?

Elena Sonnino 19:26
Yes. And to me, it's, especially in this practice. So Yin, the the thing about yin yoga is that you stay in a shape for anywhere from 90 seconds up to five minutes and honestly beyond what something's because and so it's not about going as far as you think you should, or having because it's about allowing the body to speak to you through sensations. And and Child Pose, you know, mean can be really delicious, but doesn't always feel accessible to people. So it's about supporting the bones so the muscles can relax and But you could even just lie in shavasana just lay there, right and connects to the body that way. To me, the the beauty, the magic of it comes when we sit with our breath. We allow our body to feel sensation, and we give it permission to bring us it becomes an energetic, it becomes about the energy, rather than the shape or the pose. Yeah. Right. And so in that moment in a child's pose, or I have a few other kinds of I have three or four shapes that to me really just helped me get rooted. And then, you know, being curious, right? So if you think about the body, like even in the shapes you were describing, and those things, right, we judge Oh, it should look like this, instead of judging it just being curious about what's there. And the sensations and what might this mean, instead of automatically identifying Ooh, that sensation means my hip is too tight, or my I haven't done whatever enough, right? But it's curiosity I like to call the messages, the sensations that our body offers us when we are in connection through movement, right? So whether it's yoga or walking or anything, benevolent messengers, benevolent messengers, messengers, so it's the it's their body, say, knock, knock, I want you to pay attention to something, I want you to notice me. Right? So rather than judging it, if we're going to notice, we're going to just be there with it, and let it let it grow. Let it do whatever it's going to do. And name it. Oh, okay. There's, there's construction, there's opening, there's heat, there's whatever it is. But that to me is the being in relationship. Right. And so getting rooted, you know, to me, being rooted is like, really scaffolding that foundation, creating that foundation, trusting your foundation, then there's being curious, it's, to me, it's shapes that are a little bit more opening and even in, right, like a twist, to me is really delicious. To get curious, because a twist massages the inside stuff. Like even just thinking about it makes me smile. Oh, but

Samantha Spittle 22:23
that makes me smile, even though I'm like, I do not know, but I want

Elena Sonnino 22:27
to know more. Yeah. So I mean, you could take a twist, you know, seated, but you can also take it lying down and just allowing your knees to go. And there's, you know, and I'm happy to share resources if you'd like. But there's a lot of different twists. But it's, it's about staying there. And then we talk a lot about, or you hear a lot in all these spaces about like, release what it is that no longer serves you, right. And it's a lovely sentiment. And I've used I've used that exact sentence from a lot of times. And yet, it's really hard to release anything, if you don't know what it is you're holding on to. Mm hmm. So especially in this body conversation, like beginning to name those old stories, those old shame triggers, right. So you and I have joked about like, when my mom called me solid, or when I mean, couldn't go, I still can't really go upside down and yoga like, and it's not, but like, the things that you're holding on to that we have turned into a thing?

Samantha Spittle 23:33
Yes. I'm just like, Oh my gosh. So we have our shame stories, with our body. And with all the things associated with our body, our body image is essentially I guess we could say our shame stories, you know, kind of that could be a reflection of that. I never thought about, we can listen to our body to inform us of what those shame stories are. Like, if I'm just in my head, I'm like, Well, I don't even know what they are. But being quiet, being curious, like I'm imagine, you know, as you're walking through these poses, I'm like one I'm thinking I haven't done them in a long time. But then I move out of that kind of judgment place to I remember what I've been in those places and being kind and curious.

Elena Sonnino 24:22
Yeah, it's such an interesting thing because our body absolutely hold on to things. And so I've recently started pelvic floor physical therapy. Yes. And when you think about like, body shame and stuff, right, like we have all sorts of stories. Yeah. And what has what we realized is like there are parts of my body that are literally like holding on for dear life and don't want to release and then creates all the ripple effects of like pain and all the things but if I thought about with my physical therapist The pain started after my, I had a hysterectomy in 2000. Right and a hysterectomy is basically like a removing of certain parts of the image. There's trauma that happens in that. Yeah. And then my body was like, Oh, you're gonna take stuff from me, I'm gonna hold on to everything else for right clenched all the time. And so it's just interesting because if we begin to like, really be curious, then we can notice what's there. And then tend to it from a place of nourishment rather than force and should and judgment. And that keeps I mean, I keep learning this lesson over and over again. But it keeps revealing itself to me, which I appreciate with each new end. And so if I think about that, right, as we keep learning, so we get rooted, then we get curious. And then there's this exploration of being alive. So if you're going to be fully alive in your body, then it's about allowing yourself to feel the energy, to feel the sensations to feel gratitude, to feel joy to feel sadness, because that's a part of our aliveness, too. Yeah. So rather than the hip or the the back, I mean, for me, my shoulders fold a lot of stuff. Yeah. So when the massage therapist is in there, and I'm like, Oh, yep. Like, I always go for deep tissue. And I'm like, I like deep tissue. I like the therapeutic massage and then I'm as I'm sweating I'm like, do I do I really? But I always feel so good. But that's right. So it's it's that tending with Yeah. To that aliveness? Because aliveness is a full range, right? It's it's the exuberant stuff, and it's the needing to be a soft spot to land for yourself. Yeah.

Samantha Spittle 26:49
I like this kindness, I think to our bodies, we're just so so hard on our bodies, no matter what, you know, I think that society is hard on especially women with their bodies. And so, you know, we can have conversations about changing the narrative changing, you know, what we put out there. But I really love this idea of just being so kind and gentle with yourself and giving the solute like, no ideas, solutions, tips, things like that of ways to just be so quiet and start there. Because I can imagine like, it's kind of clicking once again, like you said, why do we hear these things over and over? Why are we always having to be reminded, but it's like, oh my gosh, when you start your day, from a place of gratitude with your body instead of wake up and say, I hate this about my body? I hate this, you know? And yes, you can start with affirmations or something like that. But when you actually listen to your body, it's like you said before, when our bodies it's telling us something, and it's just a different perspective.

Elena Sonnino 27:51
Our body knows things and we part of the I think what happens is we to your point, right? Like we want to we want to be unstoppable. We want to be limitless. We want to be the super woman and take care of all the people. And so then what that means is we kind of bulldoze through. We do we bulldoze like, you know, I'm gonna do the thing no matter what. Yeah, we we ignore. I mean, that's a huge one.

Samantha Spittle 28:17
Oh my gosh, like, maybe instead of waiting till eight o'clock, to be so rundown, I have to go to bed. Like maybe day two of my period needs to be a stay home, go for a walk, because I think I need to exercise more for the endorphins to help with some pain. But like maybe I need to have the instead of let me just push through. Because if I take this amount of pain meds then I can push through. But then I'll hit a wall at eight. Maybe I need to rethink it and say, maybe I don't schedule things and I just chill, chill evening and it doesn't have to be hitting a wall.

Elena Sonnino 28:58
Yeah, I mean, that to me is tending versus reacting. Yeah, right. It's actively nourishing and tending. And you said something about movement which I love and I would love to put like an exclamation mark on it I think you know we we have such expectations around movement that it has to be like the big workout right but to me movement is it is the doorway into our body. To me in was this beautiful, counter like antidote almost to like the big, the big, sweaty, active things. Yeah, one of the things I started doing a few years ago is I was away on retreat and got to experience something called groove and groove is dance meets yoga meets Imagine your five and like skipping around the playground. At least that's how I felt it. And but when I was in this room, and it's basically it is not a there's no structure like the body doesn't have to look a specific way So the group of instructors like there are some group truths about you cannot get this wrong. And I don't remember all of them. But this idea that like, everybody can do this, and your body knows instinctively how to move. And so can you just trust it. And I remember being in this room watching people of all different ages, of all different sizes have all different physical endurance abilities, having a blast. And it created this sense of freedom. So for me, one of the movement practices, these like, dance parties here in my office or around my kitchen, to my teenagers chagrin, I'll be like, we're dancing, usually singing, but it's a connection with the body. And again, that to me is aliveness like so one of my body aliveness practices, Just Dance, like play a song, and let my body move to it in whatever way it wants. It's interesting,

Samantha Spittle 30:57
we talked about the shame stories of our body. So we have our body image and how, you know that body image is often tied to those shame stories and how you said, we are connected to our body, we're rooted, we get curious, we allow our body to talk to us. And so I feel like you know, now it's like, and then the next step is allowing your body to give the movement and it's almost like, you're that you're like, your body image is your body, like we make our our body images in our mind. And I almost be like, as you're talking, it's like, my body's telling me like, Sam, just let me take care of my image you put on the music, I'll take care of the rest. If I can't squat down right now. I'll let you

Elena Sonnino 31:46
absolutely right. And it's to me, so I actually have a client who herself loved practice that we came up with, for her to kind of play with and she's still I mean, it's, it's eight months later, and she's still doing this. She found it was around Easter, when she started, she was making like an Easter basket. And there was some like decor. And she was like, Look, this is almost like a bow. I'm like, awesome. So she dances, she actually she just dances and she's got this, this, you know, boa, and just allows her body to express itself. And for her that has been life changing to recognize that she doesn't have to feel like she has to look a specific way but that her body naturally moves, and feels great when it does.

Samantha Spittle 32:31
You know, it's interesting. Reading books, like the Body Keeps the Score, and I'm sure I've read it in a couple others about how our bodies need to release energy. And how just to like, so I don't sound too random if people listening, it talked about how like, animals naturally release energy. So there's an I'll mess up this story. But it's in one of the books I read, it talks about how like the, the animals that have a freeze response when you know, they're triggered by you know, a predator. And when they come out of it, they're like shaking, and it looks like a bad thing. But it's like, no, their body's just like, wow, I had some trauma, they shake, and they get rid of it. And we were like, we don't gotta hold on to it. And so you think about how often we're so critical. And we judge and this and it's like, yeah, what if we, oh, my gosh, Taylor Swift, brilliant, shake it off, you know, like, what if we think those thoughts and just release it? And it's like, I'm thinking of your child's pose? And you talked earlier about the twisting? And it's like, what if all this movement is allowing those sensations and thoughts and stories, those shame stories? What if it allows it to like, move through the body and then shake it off and get rid of it?

Elena Sonnino 33:49
Absolutely. Well, so to that point, right? If you think about the body with food, right, we are made, like we need food as nourishment. So we take it in, we absorb it, we digest, it becomes absorbed, and then it gets eliminated.

Samantha Spittle 34:06
Mm hmm. I'm well aware of that. Right.

Elena Sonnino 34:09
But this is where like, so the same thing is true of our emotions and of our energy. Right? We take it in, we have to like absorb it, we have to be with it. And then we give it permission to be released in in healthy ways. And so the shaking I mean I'm so I actually love there are certain songs that like like just shake, just shake, right? Or the dancing creates movement. To me. That's why movement is so important because it allows things but it's it not only is it important, I would offer it's being really intentional about moving with the intention to give something permission to move through us. That that adds a layer of power to it to say I'm going to take a walk but I'm also going to take a walk To allow whatever is like, maybe it just gets jostled around and gets loosened. Maybe it's not ready to be released yet. Because sometimes things have to be loosened first. Yeah. And then released over time. So to me dance shaking, you know, jumping on a trampoline, if you have it, whatever it is, but anything to give your body permission to, to not have to hold on so tight is a gift we can give ourselves

Samantha Spittle 35:32
feel like this is like how to gently release your shame. Through Movement.

Elena Sonnino 35:40
Yeah, it's releasing, it's also I don't know, it's like being with it, allowing it to exist without a timeline. And then just trusting that if we are in connection with ourselves through our body, that we can handle it. And we can give it a place to go. And through kindness versus the stuff that we do. Yeah, well,

Samantha Spittle 36:08
if you think about it, it's like, I think so often, we're afraid to unpack some of the hurtful stuff, you know, and even it was funny when you talked about your mom, Klein, your solid legs, and you right away, we're like, but I love my mom, I love her. And I do the exact same thing. Like I don't want to, I don't want to like talk about any of the things that could be hurtful, because it's like, I don't want to say anything bad about you know, burgers, but it's like, but we do have to spend some time with those tender parts. And I think when we trust ourselves and trust our bodies, it's so funny, because it's like, it's this is any category, we talk about him pretty much. And life has shown me it's like, oh, my gosh, when I started this podcast, I said, the thing, you know, we think we need to take to the grave is the thing we need to share. And it's like, the parts of ourselves that we that we're trying to ignore. And when we you know, we keep you know, for me, I'm just I only know my story, but it's like, oh, I'm, I don't like my body. And so therefore I must change my body, that will be the solution. And it's like, oh, I don't think it's that there's something else that needs to be tended to. And if I don't know what it is listening to, it's like, oh my gosh, I need I need to spend more time with this body that I am struggling that I hate and I want to ignore what I hear you saying as I need to spend more time with my body?

Elena Sonnino 37:25
Within a new relationship, right? And yes, and it's not easy. I mean, it's certainly it takes it takes effort, it takes intention takes all those things, but I I know that for me and and in the work that I do and but even in like with my friends, right that I see that when when we can connect to what's here. I mean, we'd like to live in our brains. And I am like an Olympic level overthinker and catastrophize er, so I'll just call myself out on it right? And even knowing that my most important moments in my life have all come from something inside my body knocking elbowing me, whatever it is, right, asking me to pay attention. And that when I can connect with that, and I just looked a lot of different ways over these 48 Almost years, right. But this idea that I know that trauma in my body is the key. And that when I have been most at war with my body, I have been had my most difficult moments when I have been most at ease with my body. I move in the direction of you know my truest self and doing the things of being the person that I get to be. Yeah, but it's, I can very much notice, like where that disconnect was and when I've been attending. And to me, it's just always a reminder of, okay, how am I treating my body? Am I nourishing it? Right? am I offering it what it needs rather than what I think it should have?

Samantha Spittle 39:14
That's a beautiful reminder to just yeah, be so kind to ourselves and be gentle and kind because our bodies I you know, it sounds so cliche, but it's like, you know, the answer is within us. It was there all along. What is that Dorothy or something? But it's so true.

Elena Sonnino 39:31
It's so true. And it's I mean, June Jordan says, Just poet who says we are the ones we've been waiting for. Right? And to me like, I've always thought that about the body that it has everything we need and crave. inside of us. We just have to get out of our own way and and that aliveness element. Right To me, it's I know, one of my grounding practices in the morning, whether it's a child's pose or just sitting in meditation is like feeling my heart be hearing it, and noticing where the other places because we think of a heartbeat here, but I actually really noticed my heartbeat, like in my throat sometimes and in my low belly, and just allowing sensations to just be there. So, to me, it is a beautiful access point for, for really tending to ourselves in a different way.

Samantha Spittle 40:23
Thank you so much. I love your perspective and seeing, you know, there's just so much, you know, just shame and everything, just all the crap we're carrying around, you know, right, there's just so much and I love just offering so many different perspectives that all complement each other, you know, because it's there's, as you said earlier, we wish we had that switch that just flipped and it was done. But that is not the way it works.

Elena Sonnino 40:48
I mean, it would be nice, but it's just not. It wouldn't be fun, honestly. Right. Yeah, wouldn't be edified. No, I'm really grateful if I think about kind of the different moments in my life, where I mean, even most recently, this, you know, pelvic floor exploration of just noticing. And in the last, the thing that I think is interesting about that is that the interconnectedness of everything, right, and the entire body and its structure and how one part of the body actually creates sensation, another part of the body. And so if we think about that, in terms of being in connection with, rather than fixing, because so often, the fixing is like hyper focused on one thing. But when we give ourselves permission to be whole, then it's like getting to be our own BFF. And to me, I mean, why wouldn't we want to be our own BFF? Like, why don't we learn how to do that in school? Yeah,

Samantha Spittle 41:41
yes, well, maybe we might be changing that, because if we're changing the conversations here, then maybe they'll trickle down. So thank you so much, one can hope. And Elena, if some wants to find out more about you and learn more about you work with you. How can they go about doing that?

Elena Sonnino 41:58
You can go to my website, Elena sameena.com. And check out my new book that we'll be launching on January 31. Called inhabit your joy, a book of nudges.

Samantha Spittle 42:11
I love that book of matches. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for your insight, wisdom and sharing more of your story. And I'm just excited to continue having women in my life who helped us always return to center and find that peace and joy.

Elena Sonnino 42:29
Well, thank you and thank you for creating spaces for these conversations because the conversations that you are leading and having are so so important. Thank you for being that container for that exploration.